Fitness, flexibility and fun :)
For those of you following my foray into the world of personal trainer privilege, I am please to announce that today I had my 2nd session with my fitness buddy Luke.
So here is the low down. I didn’t break a sweat. I didn’t do any running or jumping or jiggling about.
I may have smiled a bit. And I may actually have even had a bit of a laugh. I may have found it a bit tricky to stop chatting and to focus on what he was telling me to do (but I’m going to work on that).
The first thing Luke did was some kind of flexibility test. I don’t really understand what he was looking for, but basically my flexibility isn’t fabulous. So that is my outcome measure over the next few weeks. And as I get more flexible then I will be able to start to work on my strength. So last night we did lots of stretchy type activities. Academically it’s kind of like learning a new language. It’s helping me to listen to my body, by showing me what I should be listening for (if that makes sense).
We also had a great chat about making gyms a more friendly space for people with all different body shapes and sizes. I would say I was probably in the top 15% of fattest people at my gym yesterday. And when everywhere you turn in the gym there are messages about thinness (in the bathrooms where there are ads for bread telling you to get rid of rolls and have slices instead, and in the gym magazine where most of the ads are for slimming supplements). It isn’t hard to see why a) people go to the gym wanting drastic weight loss, and b) why many people find gyms some of the most stigmatising spaces for people who don’t conform to the thin ideal. Personal trainers are also pretty expensive for the average person, so maybe without subsidies for this type of help, we might just be exacerbating health inequalities between people like me who can afford a trainer (even for a short while) and those who will always find this an incredibly expensive luxury.
Physical activity is the most important thing you can do for your health and wellbeing (apart from not smoking) – no matter what your size. A recent study which reviewed the results of 40 studies on physical activity just released in the International Journal of Clinical Practice showed that even 30 minutes of moderate activity (like walking) five days a week is one of the most powerful “lifestyle choices” you can make. That’s not running a marathon or pounding it out on the treadmill to nowhere… it’s just about getting your body moving. And it doesn’t have to be in the gym either! And this isn’t the first study that has shown this. You all know the ‘fit and fat’ vrs ‘thin and inactive’ studies. And the ones which show that physical activity is sensational for your mental health, and the latest studies which show how awesome physical activity is for your immune system too!
So… if I know that physical activity is sooooo good for me, why do I read studies like this and come up with a bunch of excuses about why it is just way too difficult to fit in that 30 minutes a day into my life. I don’t have time. I’m tired. I can’t be bothered. I’ve had a bad day… etc etc etc. If we know that something is SO GOOD for us, why do we find it so hard to act upon it? Most people are far more supportive of physical activity than commercial dieting as a way of improving health, and yet most will still turn to dieting rather than activity as a way of improving their health. Is it that we just don’t care enough about our health? Is it that we have so many other priorities in our lives that things just drop down the list of things we need to do? Is it that we have just received so many mixed messages about what is important in terms of health outcomes (ie being skinny) that we just don’t listen to the messages any more, or take up unhelpful solutions (like dieting) which actually have no benefit for us at all? Is it a question of stigma (which you all know is one of the main reason I think some people don’t get involved in activity). Maybe it’s that we have been constantly sold that we have to be thin to then get involved in activity? Am I just totally fatigued by people telling me what to do with my health all the time?
So, what do you think? Why is it hard to incorporate physical activity into our lives?
In the meantime, I will keep working on my flexibility, and hopefully in a few weeks I might just be able to touch my toes 
!
Themocracy
I think maybe it has something to do with the fact that dieting is something you can do which doesn’t take (in theory) extra time out of your day. Exercise requires one to set aside time to go to gym/dance class/for a walk etc, and a lot of people are already feeling burnt out by stress and lack of leisure time.
I think also a lot of fat people are simply afraid of being mocked or laughed at if they exercise in public. Or have been told that 30 minutes per day is not enough, and that they should be doing 90 minutes per day (that is really the new US gvt recommendation), and that’s next to impossible, so they just give up.
Or, maybe people really hate going to gym? I hate the gym, and its not safe to walk around my neighbourhood after dark (okay, it probably is, but I’m paranoid). I go to dance classes, but I’m really lucky that I found a dance studio that is totally accepting of all body types.
Sorry for the long comment!
Hey Datura, Thanks for a great comment! I think you are right about people being afraid. And a lot of that comes from peoples experiences throughout their lives. Nick Perkins from Axis of Fat tells some absolutely heartbreaking stories of being a fat kid and being mocked during exercise.
I think sance is such a great form of exercise to be involved in. I would absolutely love to go to dance lessons! So much fun
!
xx
dance even!!! lol
So, why don’t you join a dance class? Assuming you have time/access of course. I have been belly dancing for 5 years at the most wonderfully inclusive dance studio (I’m in South Africa btw). I’ve also just started latin dance. I perform publically on occassion, and have never received a negative comment. I think it helps though that I do have a more or less “classical” figure, even though I’m quite heavy. I’ve had a lot of larger women (some smaller than me!) come up to me and tell me that they wish they could also do this – I think lack of self confidence is a universal problem.
I’m fairly sure there is a significant bellydance community in Australia. Bellydance in my experience is much more fat accepting than other forms of dance, so its a good place for people to start and build up confidence before including other forms of dance. I don’t know how accepting the ballet or contemporary dance people would be – I expect thin is the rule there. The Spanish dance people here are also much more open to different body types.
But “fun” is the key word here. Gym (to me) is so terribly boring that I just can’t face it. I hate doing exercise for the sake of exercise, I feel like I’m wasting my time.
Oh if only. I have two little kids and unfortunately one still doesnt cope well if Im not ome at bedtime. I will have it as one of those things I aspire to in the future
!!!!
I belly dance too, and you’re right, it is MUCH more accepting of body shape than other forms of dance. Still, IME you need to filter out the constant “I ate something bad”, “Look at my fat tummy”, “I need to lose weight” commentary. OTOH, I’ve never heard anyone mention weight loss as a goal during a class. Lots of stomach muscles of steel remarks, but no weight loss.
And Sam, it’s also pretty accepting of kids, although you may have to ask, so you can always take one or two to class with you!
I think the reasons behind putting off exercise are complex, and vary for individuals. For me, there used to be a huge element of the fear of stigma. I had PE teachers who shamed me routinely: I was forced to exercise by my parents at different points. So to me, exercise was bad, it was associated with negativity and failure, and I was very bad at it. That had lasting ramifications (still dealing with some of them) and it did lead to me actively avoiding activity. That is, I wore my lack of fitness as a kind of badge of honour. I refused even to run for a train! As I got older I realised that fitness and health actually did matter to me, and thankfully I found ways to enjoy them that both helped to ease my fears from the past and instil better health habits in me. Problem is, there is still stigma (it is so hard to even find a decent sports bra when you are fat, let alone a fat-friendly gym!) and there are certainly issues like a time and energy deficit. We have compartmentalised exercise in our culture: we go to special places to do it, wear special clothes… many of us have little activity built into our everyday lives. This is certainly true of me. There is also the ambivalence many mothers feel about taking time for ourselves when that may mean extra pressure on our partners or our children missing out somehow. Until my daughter started to enjoy the gym creche, I just couldn’t really use the gym: if she was in the creche but not comfortable I would fret too much to actually work out, and any other time cut into our family time or other things I needed to be doing at home.
In other words, I think gyms and trainers can play a role by helping to lessen fat stigma and all the unrealistic messages they send. But I think we also need a bit of a cultural shift to put self-care on the agenda for more people, and to also make sure that people know that activity doesn’t have to be sweating it out at the gym: there are so many other ways to move your body and improve your wellbeing. I think because we don’t know how many calories a belly dancing class or a frisbee game at the park burns, we don’t think of them as valuable for our health. And we’ve the obesity epidemic obsession to thank for that.
YES! Motherfucking PE teachers. I kind of want to write a letter to my old teachers and go “Hey! You know how you used to give me a hard time for being fat and not being a good runner? GUESS WHAT?! I represent roller derby at STATE LEVEL. Where are your golden children NOW?!”
No, I’m not bitter.
I see what you mean here. For the longest time I associated exercise with being shamed and made to feel bad about myself. It was better for me to mope around and not try, because at least I was sucking on my own terms, not trying and failing anyway.
The teachers would be all “At least try!” but when you did try, it still wasn’t good enough.
I agree there needs to be acultural shift, towards exercise as an end in itself, not something to work on for other reasons.
At my school, they said they graded us on our attitude rather than our performance. Yet somehow being punished with bad grades failed to teach me how to maintain a positive attitude about relentless failure and completely un-fun games (that were ruined by having way too many people and a number of those people being hyper competitive).
You know now in PE classes in some school in Victoria they have BMI classes. That is where the PE teachers take the kids BMI and the ones with the lowest BMI wins a prize.
Shocking!
What used to confuse the hell out of my teachers and peers (and thus me) was that I was actually quite good at sport. Sure, I wasn’t great at long distance running, but put me in an attack position at netball or on a softball field or throw a ball at me in touch football, and I would do better than most girls my age – all of whom were smaller than me. But because I was the only one my size doing it, and it was so extraordinary for people, I stopped because I thought I must have just been embarassing myself.
I have been thinking a lot about this very question lately. For me, it comes down to an inability to recognize that my body now isn’t exactly like the body I had when I was in high school and did three sports. If I can “only” work out for 15 or 20 minutes now, it feels like a total failure because in my head I’m still a rockin’ athlete. But it’s ok to have a different relationship with moving one’s body. Hard to remember that sometimes. I’m trying to reframe the phrase working out and focus instead on the moving aspect. As in, “I’d like to move today” not “I need to work out.”
Also, I agree that gyms can generally just suck in terms of being inclusive. Boo on them sometimes.
I can completely relate to that. For me its about what my body was like before and after I had kids. Where did that body go??? Well I guess its the same body, it just looks a bit different now
My worst gym phrase that they use all the time in classes at my gym is: “You’ve got to burn it to earn it”. What the hell does that mean anyway?
ugh. yes. this whole idea of “deserving” a partner/to feel good in clothes/to get attention, it just needs to go away. same goes with “burn it to earn it” (seriously, that is just weird! and i’m not sure i even understand it
.
I feel especially anxious going to the gym around the holidays, because there will inevitably be announcements and flyers all urging us to “keep those holiday 10 pounds at bay!” or whatever.
happy to report, I went to the gym for the first time in months last week and didn’t flee in a panic!
Oh yes the hols are a really bad time for weight loss messaging. As an academic tho’ I really like that time because I get to give lots of dont diet messages
!!! Keep us up to date with your gym journey!!!
This is a hard one for me. They say 30 minutes is enough. But I hate standard exercise, and its more than 30 minutes, its getting dressed in the right clothes, going somewhere to facilitate the activity, coming back, showering etc etc.
Swimming is all I like to do, and I tried a gym with a pool, but I would find it with lane hoggers, or people who were faster/slower than me getting annoyed at me hogging their lane, like I was pressured to keep up somehow.
And my husband doesn’t help. He is taller and thinner than me, and believes that 30 minutes of even walking isn’t enough. You need to sweat and increase your heart rate and earn it, which completely turns me off, and even if I do 30 minutes I feel I have already failed because I haven’t lived up to his expectations of exercise, and it hurts.
Oh, that’s another thing. I hate spending the time changing into appropriate clothes and showering afterward because I got sweaty, that is a requirement to do lots of kinds of exercise.
You know what I would really like to do? Martial arts. I have no idea why, but I’ve just always fancied it. I love swimming too. I’ve got to the stage where I just think.. ‘Am I holding you up – well fuck it I have a right to be here too.”
You should set up an Aquaporko where you live (ask @sizeoftheocean or @katejames on Twitter – it sounds like awesome fun!!!)
I know what you mean about others peoples expectations too. I think sometimes you have to think – well hell this is my body, and my exercise and I will do what feels right for me. I’ve also found the trainer has been really helpful in helping me to work out what exactly is best for me.
xx
Excellent post!
I think the reason some people don’t really like exercising is that there is kind of a stigma attatched to it. I totally love exercise and nag my friends to join me. These are some of the reaons they’ve given me:
It’s too hard.
It’s embarassing (For their size/weight, not being fit enough, don’t like how they look when they’re sweaty)
Scared they might get big muscles and won’t look feminine anymore.
Don’t think exercise counts unless you’re doing an hour of hard core activity every day.
Don’t see the point if it’s not for weight loss (Because fun and health aren’t good reasons)
Putting it off until they have time for a real plan (No point in going for a half hour walk today, because they can’t do anything tomorrow. Would rather put it off then try and do 30 days straight. I don’t get this one AT ALL.)
They’ve already eaten too much today, so today is a write off but they’ll do better tomorrow.
Too busy.
Too tired.
Too late.
Because I hate hiking WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS (Okay, this one is mine. I really hate hiking.)
My friends are not an active bunch. Except the friend who tries to make me go hiking. I hate hiking.
A lot of people I know seem to think exercise for the fun of it is off limits unless you’re already skinny or super fit, which I don’t get. I’m allowed to enjoy running, even though I might not go fast, or have perfect form, or lose weight.
One of my goals is to get out of the house to walk the dog, even if it’s only around the block. It’s better than nothing, and is good for days when I’m super depressed and don’t want to do anything.
Also, wtf is up with your gym and having posters about skinniness? We have the standard “Lose weight fast!” magazines kicking around, but posters? WTF!
Actually, now that I think about it, we do have posters about “Why exercise is totally awesome!” or something along those lines, but weight loss is the last reason listed, and it’s not too triggering (at least for me). It’s something along the lines of “Sometimes people want to lose weight. Exercise can help with that!” So it’s not too bad, but still…
“A lot of people I know seem to think exercise for the fun of it is off limits unless you’re already skinny or super fit, which I don’t get.”
I feel like exercise won’t be fun unless I’m already super fit, because that is a prerequisite to do it well and I hate slogging along doing terribly at things.
“Also, wtf is up with your gym and having posters about skinniness? We have the standard “Lose weight fast!” magazines kicking around, but posters? WTF!”
No kidding. When I worked in medicine there were always poster up for weight loss trials and I used to go and sneakily take them all down
. Bit harder to hide a big poster at the gym tho!!
GREAT COMMENT
!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Dan Aguilera, Abilena Fox and Amabeleen, Dr Samantha Thomas. Dr Samantha Thomas said: Physical activity is great for our health, but why do we find it so hard? Gr8 comments at Discourse http://tinyurl.com/2a289bj [...]
I think there’s a reason for not exercising that noone’s mentioned……it can hurt. I know, for myself, this is the main reason I don’t take that 30 minute walk. I have degenerated disks–was born with them–that make exercising difficult, tricky, or escalate my pain. I have injured myself countless times pushing through the pain, and I don’t want to endure that again. On top of all that, I just found out that the 3 abdomenal surgeries I had in one year have contributed to a new condition I have, diastasis recti. The connective tissue between the abdominal muscles has torn, causing a separation of the right and left sides of my abdomenal muscle wall. When I exert myself, a bulge the size of a basketball pushes through the torn area. So basically, the potential for a hernia, herniated intestine, or more strain on my back during exercise keep me from doing more. I’ve been trying to find different ways I can move that are fun and fulfilling. This latest thing has certainly put a damper on my mood and many times I feel like I shouldn’t even try, but mentally, I know that exercising (especially when I enjoy it) helps me feel better mentally. So I will plod away at it until I find something I can do that won’t create more problems for me. But pain is definitely a consideration as to why people don’t exercise…and that’s a difficult obstacle to overcome.
Yeah, the assumptions in public health messages about exercise about the ability to exercise can be frustrating sometimes. For example, the ACT Dept of Health has a campaign out called “Find Thirty: It’s not a big exercise” (http://www.health.act.gov.au/findthirty/). One the one hand, it’s great because the campaign doesn’t mention weight loss, but on the other hand, it doesn’t take into account that for some people, yes, thirty minutes IS a big exercise. Even if you spread it out over the day as suggested. When even a few minutes of exercise cause pain and/or fatigue, or is difficult to do even without pain or fatigue, 30 minutes may as well be a triathlon.
I’d really like to see more consideration of disability in public health campaigns.
“I’d really like to see more consideration of disability in public health campaigns.”
YES!
Yes that is really interesting. It assumes that we all have the same ability. Gosh this is such a shitty situation – so even for people that are really motivated to exercise (like Regina) but maybe dont have as much capacity (for whatever reason), there is no specialist support for them. Grr. And it probably wouldnt take much to tailor a program to suit Reginas needs either.
“So, what do you think? Why is it hard to incorporate physical activity into our lives?”
Because it makes me feel like a worthless failure. (I blame US physical education and also the fact that paying enough attention to my body to make it do things is super depressing because I hate my body so much.) Fortunately I get more than 30 minutes of walking 5 days a week of incidental activity.
Meerkat. That is so sad
. I have these discussions with policy makers etc every day. Why do we do things that just make people feel worse about themselves. What do you think might be able to help someone like you? Im sure there must be so many other people out there that feel just the same way.
Have to agree with Vanessa, 30 minutes of exercise is actually more than 30 mins, with all the other stuff that goes hand in hand.
We have an exercise bike and a Wii Fit (or Wii Fat as I like to call it), but the time it takes out of the rest of my day seems pretty big. The Wii Fat also annoys me as it doesn’t record my workouts unless I go through the weigh-in section which I don’t really care to do anymore. So it berates me when I use it cause I haven’t weighed myself in x period of time, therefore I haven’t used it at all. Fail!
I really do need to get back into exercising as I know it makes me feel better, gives me more energy and so on, but I would rather have that 30+ minutes doing something else I guess. Probably comes back to procrastination mentality tbh.
I think I was exactly the same. TBH I had no excuse. But I just completely lacked motivation. 100% couldnt be bothered. But I dressed it up as other things. Im getting my motivation back now though and it really feels quite good (even though the steps are small!!)
Exercise. Mmm don’t like it much actually, never really have. Bit for the past week and a bit have been moving more than I have in over two years. It is hard, painful, scary due to fear of falling, but I am doing it. Not much to some but a marathon effort for me. The doctor has likened it to running a marathon. Never had my name and that word together before. lol
A great new caring doctor, and a clued up clinical psychologist came into my life recently and convinced me that I could do it. And I have been. I am moving this approx 350 kg body around my home. Soon I hope to be well enough to move outside the home. I have a long way to go but the first step is the hardest and I want to keep looking ahead.
Love reading these posts thanks Samantha.
Jan it’s so great to hear that you have a great doctor and psychologist behind you… I think that’s another really important factor, isn’t it? I know a woman at my gym who has never come back because her doctor, instead of praising her efforts at being more active, scolded her for not losing enough weight. The message she got from a DOCTOR was that activity is useless unless it makes you lose weight. So sad.
Jan I am always sooo happy to hear from you. And even more happy to know that you have found a caring doctor and psychologist. Its been a long time coming hasn’t it. It sounds like such a wonderful step forward! S xx
Jan? 350 kg is about 770 pounds; is that what you meant? In any case, kudos to you for your efforts.
Hi Mulberry,
I have known Jan for some time now (although we have never met). I think your comment might have come across as a bit insensitive (and I’m absolutely 100% sure that you didn’t mean it that way). We have all sorts of people of all shapes and sizes and it is our responsibility to treat them all with respect and understanding.
S xx
Not really sure why you’ve felt the need to question Jan here Mulberry but I’m hoping it was just a misunderstanding. People of ALL shapes and sizes deserve to be accepted, just as they are. And acceptance includes not marginalizing them by assuming they don’t exist, which is kinda what your incredulity at Jan’s weight did.
I think it’s fabulous that Jan has shared her thoughts on exercise here: I have a feeling others who read this blog will benefit from her frankness.
Of course they deserve such, Spilt Milk and Samantha, and I humbly apologize if my post came across as belittling someone’s experience or existence. FWIW, I was surprised, just as I’d be surprised if some real-life non-fatosphere celebrity with a common name came to visit – I’d wonder if it was the actual celebrity, or a namesake.
Jan, I admire your efforts and cheer that you have caring doctors – not all of us are that fortunate. Any thoughtful person should be inspired by you.
Hi Mulberry,
Thanks so much for writing this!! I also think it is a great that you have spoken honestly about your reaction. IMO that can only lead to further discussion and understanding.
Thanks again
S
That’s all cool Mulberry, I have copped some shocking reactions, yours was just a blip on the radar.Initially I was thinking oh here we go, but then after that it was oh so what, no harm done. Keep up the conversation.
You know, it doesn’t matter a jot whether someone is 50kg, 150kg, 350kg, 750kg or 1000lbs. That’s the whole premise of health at EVERY size. Singling someone out with a “good effort” after checking they meant what they said about their weight is indeed an insensitive thing, and even though you might not have meant it that way, it a) sounds like you’re shocked at that number and b) kinda patronising.
We all have to remind ourselves every day that we’re a vastly varied bunch, no matter what size and shape we are. Every single human body is an individual being, and can’t really be benchmarked against any other.
I love that anyone can reach out and share their story in the Fat Acceptance world and at least amongst each other, be free of judgement. But we do have to be careful with the language we use to avoid insensitivity.
(oh and if you were genuinely after a kg to lbs conversion, Google is my best friend for translating measurements and values rather than asking publicly, which is a sensitive thing)
Kath, where did I say that 770 pounds is a bad thing? It is just an unusual thing, and I would think unusual things are value-neutral.
I don’t see how it is that saying “good effort” is patronizing, since I myself could stand to be making better efforts along that line. In my case, no matter how frequently or for what length of time (weeks, months or more) I do a particular exercise, there is never a time where I feel I would miss it if I sudenly stopped doing it at all. So “effort” is a big thing to me since it is ALWAYS an effort to exercise and it never becomes habitual.
Even pointing it out AT ALL is the problem. Your surprise over that number being “unusual” is where the problem lies. Think about how you would feel if you disclosed your weight, and someone went “XXXlbs? That’s XXXkg right, is that what you meant?” in a tone of surprise.
It happens all the time, we challenge people from pointing out that 200lbs or 300lbs or any other number is “high”, so why would you think it’s OK to do it at any other number?
It was insensitive to make such an example of it as being “unusual” and then following it up with “in any case” as though the effort was a surprise as well.
What I’m asking is that you think about how you respond to someone disclosing their weight/any other body information and have some sensitivity when commenting publicly.
Ditto Sam, Elizabeth, and Kath on this one. While I suspect you really thought she made a typo, your comment came off as very patronizing (both in the basic math conversion sense and the ‘but that’s too fat!’ sense).
After all, it’s about time we stop being shocked at numbers on the scale, like some kind of admission of guilt (which it most certainly is not). I’m very tall and built broad, so when I tell people my actual weight their eyes literally BUG out of their head. And though I’m the same person as I was before they knew my actual weight, I can’t help but feel like I get treated/seen differently (worse) after they know how heavy I am.
And it would hurt if I told someone my weight in kgs and they scoffed, “No, you mean lbs, right? Cause X kgs is 2.2*X lbs!” And this is even though I’ve developed this very thick activist skin
Hey Abigail, I’m the same – though I’m not tall, I seem to be really solid (dense, hurr hurr) so I weigh more than people estimate. I have disclosed my weight to someone before and seen that reaction of “Wait, you’re not THAT heavy are you?” It’s awful, even still now that I have that thicker activist skin too.
Im tall (as you know Kath). I always felt oddly out of place. Like somehow it is not so feminine or cute of something. But I married a tall and my kids are DEFINITELY tall, so its kinda my normality now.
I don’t know what I would do without my Docs. It’s awesome to have a supportive medical team on your side, who have ALL of your interests at heart rather than just some arbitrary number and unrealistic goals. Hang on to the good ones while you’ve got ‘em Jan!
I’m SOOOO glad you’ve found some supportive professionals. Being able to enjoy moving your body shouldn’t be the privilege of the thin. Nor should it be about how you move it. And it definitely doesn’t need the label “exercise”.
Good luck, Jan
I’m glad you’re having a positive experience with your trainer and helping to change the world a little bit at the same time!
Reading this post was exactly the reminder I needed to do my Yoga video this morning instead of procrastinating until evening (when, more likely than not, I would find an excuse to skip out). Time to stretch!
Ooh Yoga! I’ve never done that but I’ve heard its wonderful! S xx
Hi Spilt Milk and Sam thanks. I am trying so hard, my life depends on it. The dr and psych are not going to be around long term so got to make head way as fast as possible.
Making long term lifestyle changes has been a long time coming.
At 350 kg, yes Mulberry it is correct, though it is a guess as the last time I weighed, december 2008 my scales that reach up to 300 kg went into error as I was too heavy so since then i estimate that I weight that much.
It is a struggle to live at this size.
I began reading the fat acceptance blogs as a way of trying to find a place where I could try to learn to love and accept myself.
I thank everyone who participates in this issue and now that I have gabbed on will stop here. Sorry to monopolise your blog Sam.
See ya
Jan,
Please keep visiting and commenting!!! You are such a valueable voice and you have a place of acceptance here!
Sam xx
I always like your comments too Jan
(If anyone hogs the comment threads here it’s me!)
LOL! Dont stop commenting Jan.. Elizabeth will get out of control!! ;P!
Love BOTH of your comments!!!
PS did I spell valuable wrong?
I definitely struggle with the way other people might perceive me at the gym. I always feel like people look at me and want to work out harder so they don’t become “like me”. That is a shitty, shitty way to feel.
Good luck with your personal trainer! And I love all the links in this post, they give me lots of ammo
Thanks!
G – you are right! It is a shitty way to feel. And thats what we are trying to change. And I really think we are starting to make that change!!
PS: Love your blog!!!
Thanks folks your defense on my part fills me with warmth. But I am not so worried really, now that I have come to terms with it myself. Of course people will be incredulous at reading that, weight. But I want to be on the bus that helps share the word that we as human beings are worthy, despite the look of the exterior look.
As I write this I am on a small break at the coast and for the first time in years I feel a sense of freedom (despite some obvious restrictions). I am gonna live life on my terms.
You’re on the FA bus baby, there’s room for everyone! (And none of those stupid hard bench seats that make your bum numb.)
God I luv you!!! LOL!!!!!
Well… I hate those seats!
;-D
I found fat acceptance really freeing too. Letting go of all the bullshit is liberating.
Congratulations – what you’re doing for yourself is no mean feat and you should be very proud. And you’ve got your cheer squad here for you.
Yes, you’re on the bus for sure—price of admission is the mere recognition that bodies are just bodies and we need to be respected as full first-class citizens regardless of what we weigh or what our relative health statuses might be.
Hope you have an awesome break, sounds lovely! I live on the coast in the States but I so rarely get to the beach, isn’t that sad? I need to remedy that next summer (almost winter here now…ack!). Cheers
I will say it. I HATE EXERCISE! Loathe it with a passion. But let me clarify that by saying that I’m someone who had serious issues with exercising binges in my past. I would literally let it take over my life, exercise for the majority of my waking hours, and I’d do it until I simply broke down. It ruled my life for too many years.
These days, I simply refuse to exercise for health/weight loss/moral reasons, whatever.
However, I do believe in activity. Doesn’t matter what that activity is, so long as you enjoy it. I love tootling around on my pretty purple bicycle (her name is Iris!) with the wind in my hair, or walking around shopping for hours, or going for a swim on a hot day, busting a move to my iTunes, or mucking about in the back yard with friend’s kids and their dog, or just my hella busy life that has me running around building sites, crawling under desks, carrying heavy boxes and all that stuff that I have to do in my job.
But you can keep your exercise, I’m simply not going there!
Kath, I think I’m rapidly coming to your school of thought on this. I go to belly dance classes pretty reliably, because I love it, and because I make a conscious effort not to call it exercise in my mind. I try to choose to walk where possible, because I enjoy the walk, but the step machine in my lounge room? Despite the fact that 15 mins will give me the endorphin buzz and definitely improve my overall fitness, it is EXERCISE, and I can’t convince myself to do it. Or I think I’ll do it wrong, or not hard enough or something.
I know now that “exercise” is a very slippery slope for me. It takes me to a mindset that is destructive. But I’m more than happy to be active in my life.
A couple years ago I joined the Fitness First branch downstairs from my office when a bunch of my coworkers did. I hadn’t discovered Fat Acceptance at that point, but I did have a vague idea that I was interested more in improving my strength and flexibility than in losing weight. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the words or the confidence to articulate that to my trainer, who insisted I set a goal weight. Suddenly it was all about the weight. I became frustrated when I plateaued. Eventually I gave up, because of the frustration and the constant bombardment of weightloss messages. Fitness First won’t let you just cancel – you have to do an exit interview. They asked me “So is your health no longer a priority for you?” At the time, I told them it was, but I was looking after it in different ways – but these days I wish I’d said “Well, it never was for YOU!”
I have a similar problem to a lot of people in this comment thread – exercise to me is associated with negative thoughts and feelings. These days, I have a naturopath who is encouraging me to get 20 minutes of exercise in the sun every day. But I even find that a struggle. I try to walk my dog but it’s hard to retrain my brain into thinking exercise is a good thing. I don’t have any answers.
Jan, I’m so happy to hear that you have a great pair of professionals behind you to help you improve your health. As Sam and Elizabeth said, you deserve the same respect and love that everyone else does. I wish you the best of luck and am sending positive vibes your way to help you with your movement goals!
WOW. I didnt know FF did that. Thats really not very nice is it.
I find it hard too to try and incorporate exercise. But Im trying like crazy, and its really nice to know I can talk about my experiences here and know that Im not alone!!!
These days, I have a naturopath who is encouraging me to get 20 minutes of exercise in the sun every day.
I smiled at this because in winter I find that doing exactly that really helps me avoid depression.
And yes, FF sounds likes idiots.
I was going to the gym 4-5 times a week for over a year starting in 2006. I was taking classes like Body Combat and Body Jam, and I also had personal training sessions twice a week. And that whole year of working my fat arse off… all that sweat and pain and BURNING MUSCLES…. all I lost was about 4kgs.
Yes, I became fitter and so much stronger but I didn’t lose inches or very much weight at all. It was just so disheartening and since then, it has been very difficult for me to step foot into a gym because it feels hopeless.
Recently I have tried to shift my focus from shedding weight to gaining strength and becoming more fit (which is still sometimes a difficult concept for me – the idea of being fat but still being fit..). Not feeling out of breath when I’ve climbed two flights of stairs would be brilliant.
I must admit it can still be quite disheartening when you don’t really SEE much of a change in yourself… even if you can FEEL it.
I know! I felt exactly the same when I first saw a trainer a couple of years ago. But actually Ive realise that the outcomes for me need to be different. Its a MASSIVE change to make though when we have been totally indoctrinated to always want to see radical changes in our bodies. It is a slow shift for me…one I still struggle with.
And to think you used to be worried about not getting any comments! You get more comments here than I ever do! : )
I don’t enjoy exercise. Simple as that. There are other things I would rather do with my time. Maybe being mocked as a child when I did attempt to join in with physical activities has influenced me but in general I am just too damn lazy.
I love me a good dose of sloth too Bri – it’s my favourite of the seven “deadly sins” (stupid “sins”).
OMG the days of “Will anyone like what I have to say”. How awesome is it when people create amazing discussions like this one.
Love ya you lazy thing.. xxxx
I’m not sure if anybody has mentioned this as I have not had time to read all the replies in detail but I believe that fat people just get told so often that they can’t exercise because they are unfit and incapable that they believe it. Recently myself, I weigh 105kgs and and my walking buddy who is overweight according to her bmi walked 40kms. We did it in a great time and they only injury I got was a sore toenail. Besides being very proud of myself for doing it I was mad too. I have been lied to again and again by various sources that I am incapable of doing such things because I am fat. How many other fatties don’t get the chance to explore their potential because they are told they just can’t do.
Absolutely! I remember being told I was slow and clumsy as a kid, and even still as an adult. With no acknowledgement of my phenomenal strength and endurance. So what if I can’t move fast, I can move for a long time and move something BIG!
But it took a long time to get that lesson into my head.
I think thats so true. One of my students told me that she used to bunk off school whenever they had sports day because she just felt so embarrassed. I think back now to all those kids that were made to feel like crap because they weren’t perceived to be as able at sports. Really sad
Piggisoo and Kath, you have inspired me for a blog post next week… watch this space
!
So many things that have been written here all add up to paint a picture of this issue. So there isn’t much I can add apart from my own story.
I was fortunate that I had very active parents who played all sorts of sports. Myself and my brothers got into sport really early and all my friends played sports. That for me was what made it so easy to do and I loved it. I even chose to do PE as a subject along with the compulsory allocation. It was fun, I competed in lots of interschool comps but I wouldn’t say I was overly competitive.
Trouble was when I started working, plus travelling to and from work took up an extra 2 hours each day. My friends changed, I moved or they moved and other things crept into my life that slowly I didn’t do what I used to do anymore – including sport. I realised I don’t enjoy gyms and doing repetitive things or exercising on my own as for me it had been so social.
I have found a few ways to get the activity I crave – gardening is one. Moving bloody heavy rocks and bricks is a awesome workout. Just not able to do that all the time. Also when Ihad my own places I loved doing the renovation stuff – again not something I can do often enough. When I have my neice and nephew over or I look after them at their place. We go out. I can’t stand seeing kids sitting in front of the tv or playing games. And we take the dog. They love it and so do I. Setting up times to go walking with friends around the river here in Perth. I have also discovered Pilates and love that.
So if anyone wants to go walking around the rive or hiking throught the bush – give me a call as I would love to go.
Combined with a correct diet, we all began exercising far more. This is something all human beings really should want to consider. Your body can really go downhill in a relatively short time period in the event you fail to ever make use of it via exercise. Sitting in a chair at your desk in a cubicle every day doesn’t support a whole lot. What we all will need are some decent aerobic exercises. These are what get the heart pumping and muscles working. Not only do You burn calories, but your body is made stronger. With regular aerobic exercises, you also boost your overall energy levels. This is crucial for folks like me who have an extremely hectic schedule every day. It almost goes without saying that we could all use some extra energy. The sad truth is that so a lot of individuals do not realize that energy depends on diet and exercise. There’s no getting around it, these are crucial factors.
For me it’s a mental block. I have this thing in my head that tells me that I hate exercise. That I don’t enjoy getting out of breath and sweaty.
Every time I challenge those thoughts and get out and get moving, I say ‘I don’t know what my problem is – I LOVE this! I enjoy being outside, being sweaty and out of breath isn’t so bad, and it really does make me feel better!’
But then I go home and a few days go by and the mental block is back in place.
I think it doesn’t help that I’m worried that people are looking at me. Whether they’re saying ‘Oh look, the fatty is out for a run’ or ‘Good on you fatty!’, I hate the idea that someone is judging me for deciding to exercise my body. The simple fact is, 99% of people are going to look at me and assume I’m exercising to lose weight, when truly the only reason I’m doing it is because I enjoy it and want to be healthy. I almost want to stop every person I run into and say ‘I’m not doing this because I’m fat – I’m doing it because I love myself and I enjoy it!’