We have to get our boobs out to breastfeed.
Today Miranda Kerr (Aussie chick, supermodel etc) announced the name of the baby she has just had with Orlando Bloom. The announcement went like this:
“On the 6th of January I gave birth to our beautiful little son Flynn. We cherish him. He weighed 9lb 12 ounces (a very healthy and big baby boy). I gave birth to him naturally; without drugs or painkillers and it was a long, arduous and difficult labour, but Orlando was with me the whole time supporting and guiding me through it. I could not have done it without him,”
Alongside the announcement was a beautiful photo of Miranda breastfeeding Flynn.
Now, the vast majority of people saw this photo as what it was. A gorgeous photo of a mummy and her baby. Nothing more, nothing less. I don’t think Miranda was making any kind of political statement, nor was she posting this as something that blokes could oggle at and get their thrills over (well I haven’t asked her this but I’m making a common sense assumption here).
Yet that is exactly how some boys responded when they saw this pic. Here are a few of the comments:
“I think a lot of people wish they were in like Miranda Kerrs Flynn”
“RE: Miranda Kerr breast feeding pic “any excuse to show your parts Miranda, stop taking your clothes off” “
And then there were the comments by women. This one by a Channel 7 journo:
“Odd choice by Miranda Kerr to release a photo breastfeeding her new bub? Or am I being a prude?”
And the responses to this tweet:
“Agreed!! Unnecessary!”
“She does love gettin’ her baps out 
”
“Nah you’re not. It is a bit odd!”
I am really interested in why there is still this reaction to breastfeeding in our society. It is very strange to me that somehow we still think of breastfeeding as a mum taking some sort of opportunity to flash her boobs everywhere for everyone else to have a gawp at.
So why do you think these attitudes still exist?
Have you ever had a negative reaction to breastfeeding, or posting a breastfeeding picture?
PS: For what it’s worth – I was lucky enough to breastfeed both of my kids, and to have a good experience with breastfeeding. But I was also extremely well supported with my first baby by an incredible Midwife who I think made the difference between me breastfeeding and not. I also had an incredible husband who supported me (including helping me hold and position the baby etc etc).
Not all women are as lucky as me. It is really important to acknowledge that women have a huge range of experiences with breastfeeding – positive and negative. Breastfeeding is not always as peaceful and gorgeous as Miranda’s photo makes out!
Themocracy
I thought it was so lovely and generous to share that photo with the world. It’s weird when some think it’s ok to show young children dressed up in sexy outfits with pouty lips or dead women as sex objects and yet a normal function of motherhood garners such comments?
I thought it was great too. I guess women have different comfort levels about making these sorts of pics ‘public’. And that is completely okay!!
I can’t help but think of Facebooks ban of photo’s like this. How ridiculous!!
To me it just seemed a lovely natural, candid, family photo… I mean what else does a 2 week old baby do except feed feed and feed?
I think these attitudes exist for so many reasons… perhaps partly because the media wants us to think everything related to breasts is ‘sexy’ and perhaps partly because our society no longer sees breastfeeding as something most everyone does?
Poop. And not sleep much. I think somehow they are all linked
!!!
I was really surprised that there were more negative comments from women than from men. I wonder if these comments were mainly from younger women who haven’t had kids (hard to tell on Twitter!!)
I have several pics of myself breastfeeding my son. He’s nearly 15 now and they are beautiful memories of a special time. Go Miranda – it’s a wonderful photo. Anyone who thinks it’s odd, titilating or offensive can go back to the Victorian times they so clearly come from.
You know I don’t think I have any. That is so wonderful that you have those!! <3!!
actually, the Victorians had no problem with breasteeding. There are plenty of paintings and even early photographs that show women breastfeeding and it’s no big deal, just part of the scenery. Anywhere you have babies, you’ll have breasts out to feed them. Even the strict muslims that insist women cover every part of themselves, face included, have no problem with a breast being exposed for breastfeeding. Burkhas have slits just for that!
it’s only in the last 80 years or so, and only in the West, that anyone got a crazy idea that breastfeeding needed to be hidden or covered. the same time period that formula companies SATURATED the universe with their lies and propoganda. coincidence?
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by katef, Rivqa Rafael Berger, Bloom_Kerr and others. Bloom_Kerr said: Interesting artcile! We have to get our boobs out to breastfeed <gasp> http://drsamanthathomas.com/?p=400 [...]
Given she came to fame primarily through modelling lingerie, and while pregnant released her first nude photograph (no leaked sex tapes for this lass!), I wonder that people didn’t expect her to release a photo breastfeeding. Also given her vocal support of a down to earth childhood playing in the dirt and her own country upbringing, why is this an issue? Infants are nourished in two ways – the bottle or the breast. Who fusses about the child being shown taking a bottle? Alternatively, who fusses about a woman consuming a hot dog, ice cream, or even pasta in public, when these meals have been constructed as sexual foods? Finally, if she didn’t release a photo first, can you imagine their experiences with the paparazzi? All in all, I feel it is a gorgeous photo of a mum and bub, mum who happens to be stunning on her own, and I am glad that they, as a family, are in control of the way their own personal information is released.
I hated breastfeeding with a fiery passion, but it had absolutely nothing to do with the world around me. I never got (noticed?) any negative reactions, and generally found that people were supportive to the point of evangelism. I know it happens, I can read those comments and I know people cop all sorts of abuse, but in my bubble the only openly negative remarks were about bottle feeding, and even those were pretty rare.
I think here we have a confluence of the objectification of celebrity with the ongoing odd ignorance of breastfeeding – most people are not ordinarily going to make clearly sexual remarks directly to a random bfing woman (although I know it does happen). But since celebrities seem to be seen as public property already, there isn’t even the slightest hesitation in dumping their own weird bfing hangups on her.
Then again, people drop their bundles if they happen to catch a glimpse of belly when a person is injecting insulin too, so I don’t know, maybe there is no coherent explanation.
One of the things I find most unusual (sorry getting completely off topic here) is this new catchphrase that the media has “From Supermodel to Supermum”. Would love to know your thoughts on that… I just find that whole concept of ‘supermum’ a huge pain in the arse.
“I just find that whole concept of ‘supermum’ a huge pain in the arse.”
Yes, as levied at women, definitely. And oppressive.
Yep, the vast majority of mothers are just doing the best they can with the circumstances they find themselves in. I’m also pretty confident that having been a highly paid model is unlikely to make you a better or worse mother, super or otherwise.
I think it is a lovely photograph and not gratuitous at all. I was lucky enough to breastfeed my son for a year and then my daughter for 2 1/2 years. I am all for anything (like this photo) that normalises breastfeeding. People, such as those quoted in your piece, need to realise boobs aren’t just for others to ogle at or sexualise.
You know what? I would prefer 100 photos like this to one of those glossy women’s mag posed ‘exclusives’. I think this is a wonderfully intimate and natural photo.
You know what is quite interesting… that we both said we were ‘lucky’ to breastfeed. Hmm… anything in that? I think probably after hearing other peoples stories about breastfeeding (and admittedly I haven’t really heard that many), I think I probably was s bit lucky.
Love ya babes!
This is exactly what I was just about to say. I’d much rather a natural picture like this than those horrid family shoots where they’re all in matching white outfits and photoshop.
I was horrified to find people on my twitter feed calling the picture ‘revolting’. I don’t see how.
I smiled when I saw that pic. It’s so beautiful. I have a few pics of me feeding and I’ve taken pics of friends feeding who wouldn’t otherwise have bothered. I am very happy for her and very impressed she naturally birthed her first (rather big) baby!
What’s ironic is that if she does have her boobs out all the time in mags etc (I wouldn’t know, I haven’t followed her career), why is that more acceptable than her using them for her baby?
The thing I find ironic is that a lot more boob than this was being flashed in some of the pictures from the Golden Globes Sunday, or the Oscars last year, and I didn’t hear anyone complaining so loudly. Why is showing breasts inappropriate for breastfeeding but not for fashion?
I breastfed all four of my children; the first with difficulty and a lot of self-consciousness, and the others with no problems. Mostly people were supportive, but I do know women who have been asked to leave stores or were treated as exhibitionists. A lot has to do with the cultural discomfort and disapproval women were taught towards breastfeeding when doctors promoted formula as “more scientific” and then that discomfort/distaste for it got passed down the generations.
I think the underlying objection may also have to do with the fact that some people get weirded out knowing that there is a baby suckling on the breast. They put that into a sexual context instead of seeing it in a feeding context, and perceive a baby breastfeeding as porn-like. How twisted is that?
It’s too bad society over-sexualizes breasts so much that many people can’t separate breasts’ biological feeding purpose from a sexual context.
Brava to this mum for a beautiful photo like this. We need to normalize breastfeedomg images in society so that kind of twisted reasoning becomes outdated.
I think the problem is that our culture views breasts as primarily sexual, so when they are revealed in that context, as with an underwear ad, that fits with people’s expectations and feels right. If we take that image and add a baby, it’s jarring because a baby doesn’t belong in a sexual image. The only way to combat that is to increase the number of non-sexual depictions of breasts.
The other problem is the commercialization of breasts in our culture. If an underwear ad shows a lot of skin, people think, well, they have to show what they’re selling, right? The trouble is, then, whenever anyone shows a breast, people wonder what they’re trying to sell. And, again, what place does a baby have there? I’ve seen people use the term, “Breastfeeding industry” in comments. We’ve grown so used to this commercialization that we see people trying to profit where no monetary profit can be made.
I think this is a gorgeous photo of a completely natural moment between mother and child. And as Well Rounded Mama says, I saw more boobs in pics from the red carpet this week than I do in that picture.
This is what breasts are for, biologically. Why are we (as a society, not the people reading this blog in particular) so offended by breasts being used for the purpose of their very existence?
This is not to be hard on those who can’t – or even prefer not to – breast feed. It’s just I’m tired of pictures of new moms feeding their babies being treated like porn, just because they are breast feeding.
Also, as someone noted upthread, kudos to her for taking control of her own media exposure in this matter. Up to this moment, pretty much all I knew about Miranda Kerr was that she was a model who had just given birth to Orlando Bloom’s baby… both of which facts made little emotional difference to me. But this picture and some of the comments on this thread about how she handles herself and what her values are may just make me a fan.
I think this photo is adorable, and I’m usually more prudish so I have no idea why people are freaking out about it.
I don’t have a problem with breastfeeding in public as long as people surrounding are warned about it first. If I was going to breasfeed, that what I would do anyways.
should everyone eating have to “warn” you before they do it? would you expect a bottlefeeding mom to “warn everyone” first? your ridiculous expectation is proof that you DO in fact have a problem with breastfeeding. If you didn’t think it was offensive, you wouldn’t have arbitrary rules about people having to get the permission of everyone in the room before simply feeding their child.
There is no “but” on acceptance. Either you DO accept breastfeeding, PERIOD, without qualifiers, or you don’t. Rephrase that sentence a little and you’ll see why it’s wrong.
“I don’t have a problem with ——(jews, gays, people of colour, children, breastfeeding mothers) being allowed into my space, as long as they warn everyone beforehand”
Are you kidding? So given a new baby is hungry about every hour, if you’re in a restaurant or at a park you should walk around and warn people? I’m wondering how this would play out?
Do you know how much a baby feeds its first six months of life? If a woman wants to keep this private and stay home she has that right. But any language telling other women that’s what they should do, I’m going to object to.
I can empathize with your expressed view. Before I had babies, and before I had friend who were mothers, I would be offended or at the very least startled about breastfeeding. Now I realize that was a pretty unrealistic, anti-woman, anti-family, and anti-baby view to have. And now that I’ve fed a few babies and been around lots of babies and carers I realize how unrealistic I really was being.
I wonder if when you are younger (and maybe haven’t had kids, or haven’t been around women with babies), that you perceive and relate to things like breastfeeding differently.
I think before I had kids (like maybe in my late teens and early 20′s), I probably had a different opinion about breastfeeding. Once I had my kids and experienced all the things that Kelly mentions, I thought very differently about breastfeeding and breastfeeding in public spaces.
I think sometimes your experience of these things can certainly change your opinions over time. And certainly when I was a teenager it was a lot more radical/unacceptable to see women breastfeeding in public. I even remember going to visit my Aunty in hospital when she had one of her babies and being told to wait outside the room because she was feeding.
Has anyone had a similar experience?
My partner’s side of our family(other than his mother) are very anti-visible breastfeeding. When we visited his family when my kiddo was bfing, I was expected not just to hide myself under a blanket or turn around or something, but to go to an entirely different room of the house (sometimes even a different floor!). I sometimes wish I could go back and be a bit stronger then, so I could have stood up for myself a bit more. My side of the family and all of our friends, however, learned to deal with/had no problem with me breastfeeding right in the middle of conversations, movies, dinner, whatever.
I breastfed in public all the time. When the kiddo was in a sling, which was a lot, I figured out ways I could basically walk around with my boob out in public without folks being much the wiser. I don’t feel like I *had* to hide my breasts, but I also didn’t always feel up to dealing with peoples’ negative reactions. I do fondly remember sitting down in front of my city’s courthouse and taking out a breast to feed my kid after a really long walk.
All good points, Dr. Thomas! I look forward to anyone’s responses.
I’d add though that having kids or being older doesn’t make one pro-breastfeeding or even tolerant… unfortunately.
I’m always a bit bolstered when my friends without kids, many in their late teens and twenties, have positive and supportive things to say about breastfeeding!
Thank you very much… I am to please
I reckon you might have had some sort of positive influence on your friends too.. which is awesome.
It all smacks a bit of ye olde patriarchy, to me — and it almost sounds a little slut-shaming as well. Because she’s (barely} showing her breasts in a non-sexual way, but we’re conditioned to objectify breasts, people have to interpret what she’s doing as attention-seeking to deal with it. Breasts are functional food-makers, and if breasts are functioning, then breasts aren’t being sexual, which means the patriarchal understanding of what breasts are for [male pleasure] is being ignored — I mean, outside of some specific kinks, which are fine by me, I don’t think most folks generally -super- aroused by breastfeeding. And the comments that folks identifying as women are making reflect the internalized misogyny so prevalent in our culture.
Hey! I love your blog. Are you on Twitter??? Did you write those papers about fat stigma?
Thank you so much! That really means a lot!
And yes, that was my final big project for my bachelor’s. Twitter is one of the last social networking thingmaroos I’ve yet to set up.
This is such a beautiful picture. So natural, loving and nuturing. I’ve spent nearly every night for the past 4 years feeding my daughter like this and love it! I just wish I had a photo of me and my daughter feeding as beautiful as this one!!!!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kelly Hogaboom. Kelly Hogaboom said: It's OK to breastfeed, but only if you WARN people first: http://bit.ly/fP0AQj Today's #WTF moment via @TheDiscourse 's great post. [...]
Lovely pic.
Negatives responses to breast feeding always spin me out. After all we are mammals; hence we have mammary glands, which we use them to feed our young. Doh! It should be a no-brainer, but the sexualisation and commodification of breasts and breast accessories, along with the formula industry overshadow the good old boob for just plain breastfeeding.
The other thing that always amuses me is that people have an issue with breastfeeding, yet most seem to happily guzzle milk and consume milk by-products without thinking about the fact they are drinking something from a cow’s boob. So it’s not okay to breastfeed but it is okay to inter-species boob feed – albeit expressed cow boob milk!
I know! Isn’t that funny? Someone recently said on Twitter, “Uh… just so you know, ALL milk is breastmilk.”
Not every culture has our endemic hangups and double standards – it’s always nice to read different perspectives!
oh, thanks for posting that link. What a great story!
I breastfed my daughter until 3, but it certainly wasn’t without some sense of disapproval from family members, and as she got older, I certainly didn’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in public. The Mongolian experience sounds amazing (which is kind of sad, because it really should be just normal!)
There’s also lots of nice examples of breastfeeding historically in different art http://www.breastfeedingart.net/
Thank you for that link!
I think this is such a beautiful photo. It seems so calm and intimate, which is a perfect way to capture the (positive side of) the early days with a new baby.
I think attitudes to public breastfeeding could serve as a good litmus test for levels of gender equality. Sadly, we’re not doing too well.
I’ve seen a lot of negative comments from other women on Jezebel about the fact that Miranda is wearing makeup in the picture. Like it somehow detracts from the naturalness and motherliness of the photo that she’s taken the time to put on lipstick.
IMO those detractors seem to be saying that to be a good mother, she has to now forget attending to herself, and not take the time to look pretty as she deems fit.
It is weird isn’t it. How does wearing makeup make up make you less of a mother?
Another interesting topic Samantha. I like to read your blog because it gets me questioning my own beliefs and opinions on the subject matter,
In fact if I may be so bold but truthful when I first saw the photo on tele the other night my first thought was Oh god why that photo? It was a very nice photo, but I was surprised by it and then thought she must be making some political statement. It never entered my mind that it was just a normal, beautiful picture of a mother and baby doing what comes natural-to some that is.
I have 5 kids, all adults now, and breastfed them all. However, and this is putting my weirdness out there, I felt dirty when I first started doing it. I was embarrased and always his it by going to another room,or sitting in the car.
Over the years I became more confident and would feed discretley.
But after coming here and reading the comments I have now alligned my thinking more with the general consensus that breastfeeding is normal and acceptable.
I hope I am coming across the way I mean, maybe not as I get all tangled up with my thoughts some times.
I am working on my body issues all the time, as I think this is where my disordered thinking comes from-my dislike of my own body.
Jan how wonderful that despite feeling dirty you carried on and breatfed 5 children
. I do think it’s very sad when body issues and other people’s hang-ups interfere with what I consider a baby’s right to mothers milk BUT I can totally imagine how difficult it would be to breastfeed in those circumstances!! How lucky your children are that you could do that for them 
.
I totally agree! I never actually thought about the intersection between body image and breastfeeding, and how people might react differently depending on your size. I wonder if anyone has blogged about this?
Great thoughts Jan, and what a lovely response Rachael! We need more people like you in this world!
I’m not a Mum but I found the shot to be really lovely and intimate. Only thing I’d ask is why share such a private moment with the world? Is it totally necessary? I guess my issue is a lot more about “celebrity” than with breast feeding.
A moment like this I’d want to share with my family not with some Johnny and Jenny Whoever from the other side of the world I don’t know. Maybe that’s just me.
I’m breastfeeding my eight month old and out of all the negative feed back I get, this is the response that annoys me the most. I hate it when eople say ‘there’s nothing wrong with it but why would you want strangers to see your “private and intimate moment” it’s no more intimate than a mother bottle feeding but women who breastfeed in the public eye are percieved as attention seekers for showing the world how you feed your child! It’s pathetic. If as a bfing mother you never wanted strangers to see your ‘intimate’ moment, you’d never leave the house! Good on you miranda. This is a gorgeous picture.
Hi Rachael & Sam
Thanks for the kind comments. Sam that would make an interesting article.
Thanks for the opportunity to participate in a quality discussion.
Jan
It’s funny that people react so negatively to breastfeeding when usually very little of the breast is seen – just like in this photo! But it is disappointing to see (here in New Zealand) ads designed to encourage women to breastfeed which shy away from showing any breast at all or even skin – it just seems to be pandering to the mob.
However I can relate to people feeling uncomfortable about feeding in public due to body image issues. I am obese and breastfeeding twins, so I do hesitate before doing so in public. But I am also lucky enough to be surrounded by friends and family who see it as the most natural thing in the world
I wonder that people didn’t expect her to release a photo breastfeeding. Also given her vocal support of a down to earth childhood playing in the dirt and her own country upbringing, why is this issue? Infants are nourished in two ways. I know it happens, I can read those comments and I know people cop all sorts of abuse, but in my bubble the only openly negative remarks were about bottle feeding, and even those were pretty rare. I think the underlying objection may also have to do with the fact that some people get weirder out knowing that there is a baby suckling on the breast.